March 2012
February 2012
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paulhphillips:
interrobangin:
paulhphillips:
“The New Business Lady” starring “NOT ZOOEY DESCHANEL”
I need to send my neighbors a fruit basket now because we have just been yelling at each other and cackling for the past lil while. If we haven’t pitched “Single Business Lady” to you then I am VERY SORRY. This is the poster for Cyb2rbully, BTW.
Ok, not to reblog myself here (I DO LOVE...
Anonymous asked: Thanks for giving us more insanity for our anti-interrobangin blog. Last night's posts were amazing. We're still texting about it this morning.
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paulhphillips asked: FREAK!!!!!
Anonymous asked: You're a weird fucking ugly troll. A group of us repost your insanity on our tumblrs just to make fun of you. Guess what? You're nothing like Zooey Deschanel, you are just a sad excuse for a human. Go ride your bike off a cliff, FREAK. So what if I have to stop making fun of you. The world will be a more sane and prettier place.
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paulhphillips:
Pet peeve: when someone in a gay bar interprets the fact that my eyes are naturally drawn to faces as me hitting on/interested in them
PAUL WHY WON’T YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE YOU ONCE DID???
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Oh, rum is what my manager puts in our Friday Slurpees. That’s why it tastes like rubbing alcohol.
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So I dreamt exclusively in nightmares last night. Usually if I wake up from a bad dream and then change sleeping positions, it’ll stop, but last night it just changed the genre. Missing friend, living in a murder house, serial killer. During one of the wakes-up-in-sweat, very annoyed, around 3 or 4, I asked myself aloud to make the next one sexy. I ended up in a crowded basement hanging out with...
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My cousin closest in age to me is married and 8 weeks pregnant. Okay. Well. I’ve lived in New York for 10 months now and only cried on one mode of transportation (my bicycle, once), so we’re all reaching our own goals at our own paces.
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I just had to order another margarita while sitting at a table alone with an order of chips and salsa and an abandoned 2nd margarita because Paul’s out on the phone with his dad (and I understand the happy hour political machine). But it looks like I’m on the worst date of my life. I might ask for more chips in a min which I won’t be able to play off as a group decision.
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paulhphillips replied to your photo: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…
:( :( :( :( :( Also, we need to find a drag brunch. They do it in Kansas City so I KNOW they have to do it here. Also, drag bingo. LETS WORK ON THAT. Further, what are you doing tonight? Want to hang out?! This message is obnoxious.
Um WHAT? Okay. We’ll research. YES DUH you are coming over...
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When I was waiting for the train to go to a different bar for comedy, foursquare asked me that since I was near [bar closest to my apt], did I want to check in? I didn’t! That wasn’t my intention! That’s not where I am! I am blocks away! How did I even get service for that down here??
But now we’re at [bar closest to my apt] because the seed was planted.
You guys his dad brought him back over to the ATM and now the kid is slamming on buttons and trying to stick the card in the cash slot. Small children pretending to be adults! I’m making Tom Haverford’s excited face!
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“I wonder what sandwich she got last night. I don’t think she likes egg...”
– Guessing who our slutty friend went home with.
OKAY also I sat in the front seat of the cab home and kept making sure the cabbie wasn’t annoyed with our yellings. (We yell A LOT as a group) He was fine. Then we got up to my apt and realized he was honking in the street. We all figured he was honking because I didn’t pay him enough, but apparently he was honking because SOME VISITOR left all her important information cards in the...
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“Thank you for representing the black community [during Grillz].”
– Something a mostly black man said to me as I was leaving Union Hall karaoke tonight. Then he said he was dedicating a song to me, but I left whoops.
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A scene:
kdrexin:
APARTMENT: INTERIOR
A television plays unattended in a living room a commercial comes on and “King of New York” begins to play. Suddenly, a bedroom door bursts open.
GIRL: OH MY GOD IS THAT THE NEWSIES MUSICAL???
GIRL’s roommate has just entered the room and gives her a look. GIRL looks down and realizes she’s only partially dressed.
Girl: Oh. Sorry.
Gives her a look and laughs.
...
Oh my gawd there’s a pair of matching wristbands next to her PBR, and I’m killing myself tonight.
We’re in Williamsburg and there’s a couple next to us with a pair of packaged American Apparel socks on the table. I assume they were a valentine, and it makes me feel sad.
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If my pizza boyfriend doesn’t bring me a free heart-shaped pizza today then I don’t believe in love.
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WatchThis video is set to (Love Is Like A) Heat Wave on the record player, and it is Drex’s Galentine’s Day present to all of us.
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Hi I’m looking at Tom Brokaw’s bike right now, and earlier today I was looking at Tom Brokaw and Tom Brokaw’s dog. Betcha can’t guess what kind it is!!
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paulhphillips replied to your post: Grace and Drex left me alone with my good friend…
I CANT WAIT TO GET THERE
Paul, when you get here there won’t be any leftover wine for me. So I feel MIXED about it.
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Grace and Drex left me alone with my good friend “last 3rd of wine bottle #3.” We’re going to retire to my bedroom.
Anonymous asked: I saw your Valentine's Day post. You really don't have a boyfriend? You're so cute? :/